Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Anarcho Speed Dating



Photos: Elizabeth Johnson
Words: Tom Rowsell


To most people Valentine’s Day is a reason to spend money on a dearly beloved or an opportunity to get laid with another lonely heart. But the Class War organisation and its anarchist followers view this day as yet another excuse for cheap useless crap to be marketed at a consumer driven capitalist society. This year the anarchists put down their Molotov cocktails and exchanged them for flowers at the Anarcho speed dating night at The Cross Kings pub in King’s Cross. Unlike most speed dating nights, dating both sexes is compulsory. So whether straight or gay, at some point you’re going to have to talk to someone you don’t fancy. The topics of conversation are class upheaval, punk rock, and civil disobedience. The musical chairs style affair is overseen by a whip cracking, PVC clad dominatrix named Mistress Scarlet and the speed dating is followed by several crusty anarcho punk bands shrieking their anguish complete with spiky hair, equality patches and crudely rendered A’s scrawled onto their clothes. Is it right that anarchists partake in a rigidly structured form of courtship on a commercialised Christian holiday? “It’s a bit of a joke really,” admits organiser Pinki of her speed dating idea, and as for Valentine’s Day, “If you love someone, you don’t need one day to tell them that you love them,” she argues passionately, “Love should be celebrated every day!”



Daisy May & Weez Williams


What do you think of Anarcho Speed Dating?

Daisy: Lack of hot men
Weez: lack of good conversation, no one has anything to say.
Daisy: All they can talk about is your beliefs!
Weez: I didn’t even get that, I asked one guy ‘why do you like Star Wars?’ and he said because of the spiritual beliefs of the jedi.

What do you think of Valentine’s day?

Daisy: I don’t mind it; it’s quite a nice day for couples to celebrate their love.

What kind of person were you hoping to meet tonight?

Weez: A hot boy, taller than me, nice guy. That’s all really.
Daisy: a nice smart skin boy.

What’s the best or worst line you’ve heard tonight?

Daisy: Are you an Anarchist was the worst.




Hal aka Kebab punk


What do you think of Anarcho Speed Dating?


To be honest I just came here for a potential blow job.

What do you think of Valentine’s Day?

Fuck it! Its bullshit, part of the American flower industry. It has no significance whatsoever.

What kind of person were you hoping to meet tonight?

I was hoping to find a nice scruffy little punk boy who could suck me off at the end of the night.

What’s the best or worst line you’ve heard tonight?


Most people are shy and they just ask me “what do you do?” it’s surprising, people can’t actually converse properly!



Elliot Richards

What do you think of Anarcho Speed Dating?


I was surprised at how fun it was and how many different types of people there were.

What do you think of Valentine’s Day?


I’m not a fan, but I’m not sure if that’s for political reasons or just because I’ve been single for too long.

What kind of person were you hoping to meet tonight?

Anyone interesting, just cool people.

What’s the best or worst line you’ve heard tonight?

I didn’t hear any lines but I met this proper anarcho punk guy who works for Children’s BBC.





Willa


What do you think of Anarcho Speed Dating?

I thought It was good fun, it was a mixed bunch. I met someone who does gardening at Hyde Park, a milkman and a man with the best moustache I’ve ever seen.

What do you think of Valentine’s Day?

It’s a bastardisation of what it used to be, I remember hearing the myth of St.Valentine himself, he married two people he wasn’t supposed to, so in a way the whole thing is anti-establishment.

What kind of person were you hoping to meet tonight?


I like people who give a shit about stuff. Not just people who can’t talk about anything other than music and sex. Someone you can talk to about politics without them being “that guy” the dickish dude, constantly asserting his own opinion.

What’s the best or worst line you’ve heard tonight?

A guy flexed his biceps at me and said
“Have you seen a vet? Because these pythons are sick!”




Kellan


What do you think of Anarcho Speed Dating?

I had a fantastic time.

What do you think of Valentine’s Day?

I guess if you’re in a relationship, or in love then it’s a nice romantic thing to do but for a lot of us it’s a capitalist extravagance which makes you feel as though you have to take part or it highlights your sense of being alone.

What kind of person were you hoping to meet tonight?

If there had been a really nice, gay anarcho boy there, I would have been really happy, but there didn’t seem to be any. I was surprised how willing people were to reveal quite personal details about themselves to strangers. I thought that was really cool.

What’s the best or worst line you’ve heard tonight?

I made an appalling pass at a gentleman, and he looked at me with that embarrassed look you give when someone makes a bumbling pass at you.





Leah

What do you think of Anarcho Speed Dating?

I think it’s an interesting concept with definite potential. If anything it creates a good vibe for people to enjoy.

What do you think of Valentine’s Day?


Not much.

What kind of person were you hoping to meet tonight?


Somebody passionate.

What’s the best or worst line you’ve heard tonight?


The best was “let’s have a thumb war!” He declared a coup against my thumb, an emperor that needed to be deposed.





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Published: Disappear Here, April, 2009